Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
