I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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