I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
