i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
