do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
