im holly from the hills drunk
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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