If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
two words...techno handjob
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
