i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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