I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
