no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
