Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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