My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
