This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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