Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
