So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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