I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
