I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
