We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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