Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
