She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
