both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
