Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
