I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
