I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Found the puke drawer
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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