So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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