all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
