nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
