Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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