I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
