Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
