i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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