either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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