He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
