Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
