they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
