We're like a lot better than the average bears
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
