Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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