Im at strip club and am horny
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
where does the pee come out of this thing
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
