Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
