Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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