Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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