enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
