Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
MIDGETS
????
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
