She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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