Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
