Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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