i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Randomize
