I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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