So drunk its hurt
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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