I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
