8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
